Die Raoul Die! new author!
by moviefanatic101
Summary: i am the new author of Die Raoul Die, but i can say that PhantomPhan111 is the real artist here. so my friends, Lorena, Camille, and my big brother, Tomas are going to have fun torturing Raoul! the genres are humor for us, horror for Raoul!
1. the Mask of Zorro

Diana: hi everyone! Welcome to…

Tomas: DIE RAOUL DIE!

Diana: **whispers** Tomas, don't scream it!

Crowd: **stares at Tomas**

Diana: I know, I'm new to this, 'Die Raoul Die' thing, but I'll try my best. PhantomPhan111 is the best writer, and I know that I can't be better than PhantomPhan111.

Lorena: PhantomPhan111 will be missed.

Camille: are we going to kill Raoul or what?

Diana: oh, right, anyways….

Tomas: BRING IN THE FOP!

Random fat dude: *throws Raoul on the ground*

Erik: **whispers to me** I thought you had a body guard, not a fat guy!

Diana: whispers back I know! But it's my brother's fault!

Raoul: huh? What's going on? Where's my hairbrush?

Diana: **burns hairbrush**

Raoul: wow, you suck at this.

Diana: shut up. Anyways… here's our guest host… Catherine Zeta Jones!

Catherine: hi everybody!

Crowd: **cheers**

Diana: so, read the card.

Catherine: ok. **gets a card** ooh… this is good….

Lorena: what is it, Catherine?

Catherine: Antonio Banderas gets to come here, and he's going to play as Zorro and get his whip and whip Raoul's hair off!

Diana: ANTONIO BANDERAS?

Catherine: yeah! He's going to use his sword to make scars and random stuff and torture him!

Camille: omg!

Antonio: **runs in** what? What? What?

Diana: you get to torture Raoul!

Antonio: cool! So, what do I do?

Catherine: change into this hot Zorro outfit will you?

Antonio: you still can't get over the kiss, can you?

Catherine: maybe…

**Three hours later**

Lorena: it takes him that long to get into the Zorro outfit?

Diana: not my fault!

Zorro: I got my sword! And whip!

Diana: finally!

Raoul: my hair is hotter than your outfit!

Zorro: lets just see how long can it stay on your head…

Raoul: uh oh…

Erik: he shouldn't had said that….

**six hours of torture**

Raoul: **screams like a girl** my hair! My beautiful hair! **explodes**

Tomas: ugh! I'll get the mop.

Diana: so… he exploded…

Tomas: can someone get the janitor here?

Diana: let me guess, you didn't hire a janitor,

Tomas: he got too old and died.

Lorena: umm wow…

Diana: where's Antonio Bandera and Catherine Zeta Jones?

Tomas: **opens the closet** uh… I think I found them..

Antonio Banderas; **making out with Catherine Zeta Jones**

Camille: didn't have to see that…

Diana: ok… that's all for…

Crowd: Die Raoul Die!

Diana: see ya! **walks off the stage with all of my friends but Camille**

**Camille: you know, Antonio, your wife is watching.**

**Antonio: I don't care, Catherine is hot!**

**Camille: ok…**


	2. Oliver's wrath

**Diana: welcome back to….**

**Oliver: DIE, RAOUL! DIE! I mean.. MEOW RAOUL MEOW!**

**Diana: sorry about my black cat. He's my guest host.**

**Oliver: gives the cute eye stare to everyone**

Lorena: aw…

Camille: he's cuter than Puss in shoes!

Puss in boots: **hits Camille with his boot**

Camille: OW!

Puss in boots: FYI, it's Puss in boots!

Diana: anyways… bring the fop!

Lorena: I'm on it! **texts to Raoul: your late for your chance to have **

**a hair product sample!**

Diana: five…

Tomas: four…

Camille: three…

Lorena: two…

Oliver: one…

Raoul: **runs in **I'M SORRY! I'M HERE! GIVE ME

ANOTHER CHANCE, PLEASE!

**crowd boos**

Raoul: what?

Random guy: YOU STINK!

Diana: anyways… Oliver, read this card.

Oliver: meow! **reads card, eyes widen **meow!

Diana: what is it, Oliver?

Oliver: meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!

Diana: is that so? That's cool…

Lorena: what did he say?

Diana: none of your business! Anyways, Oliver,

go into that cage with the fop.

Oliver: **pulling Raoul into the cage**

Raoul: aww, Oliver is so cute!

Oliver: I'M NOT CUTE!

Raoul: OH MY GOODNESS! AAAH!

**5 minutes later….**

Raoul: **in pieces**

Diana: ok..

Tomas: I'm going to put him in the fop

recycling center.

Lorena: ok…

Diana: **hugs Oliver** that's my cute cat!

Oliver: **blushes** thank you, mommy.

Diana: that's all for…

Audience: DIE RAOUL DIE!

Random guy: YEAH!

Everyone: **stares at random guy**

Random guy: I'll… I'll just shut up.

Diana: ok… O.o

Oliver: meow.

Diana and friends: **goes off the stage **


	3. man eating fishes destoryed the studio

Diana: time for…

Vikings: Die thee Raoul Die!

Diana: no, it's Die Raoul die!

Viking: yeah!

Lorena: ok… anyways…

Diana: they are my hosts for the show.

Vikings: WOO HOO!

**Everyone stares at them**

Diana: anyways… bring in the…

Raoul: I'M COMING I'M COMING!

Erik: can I….

Diana: no you can not.

Erik:

Diana: read the card.

Viking: **reading card** argh! Amazing!

Diana: what?

Viking: put yer fop in the pool.

Diana: **pushes him into the water**

Raoul: at least I get to swim!

Viking: put yer man-eating fishes into the pool.

Tomas: aren't they called…

Viking: PUT IT IN!

Tomas: ok.. Ok… **puts the fishes in the water.**

Raoul: aww. Their cute…

Fishes: grrr…

Raoul: noo! Nooo! Eat my flesh, just don't rip off my hair.

Fishes: **rips his hair off**

Raoul: !

Diana: run!

Everyone runs out

Raoul: **face gets ripped off**

Random dude: **goes back in** oh, I thought he was going to…

Raoul: **explodes**

Diana: what happened to our studio?

Tomas: I'm going to repair it. **walks out**

Diana: sorry, we to go. Our studio was destroyed. Bye. **gets a bulldozer**

Vikings: **building the studio**

**Tomas: um… do I just…**

**Diana: turn off the camera.**

**Tomas: you mean…**

**Diana: yes, turn it off!**

**Tomas: now?**

**Diana: yes!**

**Tomas: tomorrow?**

**Diana: no!**

**Tomas: oh…**

**Diana: NOW!**

**Tomas: ok…**


	4. Michael's zombies

Diana: welcome back to…

Michael Jackson: DIE RAOUL DIE! HEE HEE!

Diana: and yes! That's Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson: back from the dead!

Diana: he's my guest host!

Erik: I was suppose to be your guest host!

Diana: sorry! Anyways, Tomas…

Tomas: got it. **brings out a hairbrush**

Raoul: **runs in **OOO! OOO! HAIRBRUSH!

Diana: wow.

Lorena: anyways…

Diana: Michael…

Michael: **reads card** HEE HEE!

Diana: what is it, Michael?

Michael: I get to bring my zombies from my music video, "Thriller" and they get to eat his brains!

Diana: I thought they were just actors…

Michael: I know…

Diana: O.o

Michael: BRING IN MY ZOMBIES!

Zombies: brains… brains…. We want brains…

Raoul: they can't harm me!

Camille: cause you got no brains.

Raoul: =( you are mean.

Camille: I know.

Tomas: **swishes the hairbrush** don't you want it, Raoul? It'll make your hair more hairy! And it'll make Christine love you more!

Raoul: OOO!

Tomas: **throws hairbrush into the zombies lair** come and get it!

Raoul: **chases after a hairbrush like a dog** woof! Woof! My hairbrush!

Zombies: brains…

Raoul: **whimpers** help…

Zombies**: chases him** brains… brains…. Brains… BRAINS!

Raoul: AAAAAAAAAH! CHRISTINE! HELP ME! AAAH!

Diana: **laughing**

Tomas: I wonder what does Christine sees in him?

Camille: I know, right? THE PHANTOM IS HOT!

Everyone stares at Camille, Phangirls growls.

Camille: I mean.. he might want to cool down… he might sweat…

Diana: ok…

Erik: I am hot?

Raoul: **his head was ripped off**

Diana: woo! Give a hand for… Michael Jackson!

Everyone claps for Michael

Michael Jackson: thank you! Thank you!

Tomas: now, we will put Raoul in the fop factory to bring him back to life.

Diana: ok! That's all for…

Zombies: Die Raoul die!

Phangirls: **stares at Camille**

Camille: um…

Phangirl: you are just like us.. The Phantom of the Opera is hot!

Camille: I know, right!

Diana: bye!

Michael: **opens closet and finds Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones making out.**

Antonio Banderas: do you mind? Catherine and I are making out here!

Michael: ok…

Janet Jackson: **slaps Michael** you are disgusting! Stop watching them make out!

Michael: **runs from Janet AAAAAAAAH!**

**Diana: ok… bye?**


	5. the wrong charracter

Diana: welcome to the most popular show...crowd: die Raoul die!Diana: here's the host, Puss in Boots!Shrek: **being dragged **what am doing here?Diana: **whispered to my brother, Tomas **WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?Tomas: i don't know! ok! i'm sorry!Diana: ugh! do you know how much money i pay Puss in boots? anyways, bring up the fop!Raoul: **being dragged **what's going on? what is up with the orge?Shrek: i have a name, ok?Diana: read the : but i want to...Diana: read the card!Shrek: can't i just..Diana: read the card!Shrek: please, let me..Diana: READ THE CARD!Shrek: ok.. ok.. =/ **reads the card **cool...Diana: what?Shrek: get Raoul in a box of : SHREK! the other card!Shrek: oh, my bad... that was my card, you know... the dare game Donkey, Puss in boots, and all my friends and i play...Diana: i have no time here! you better hurry up!Shrek: ok.. ok..Diana: **looked at Tomas growls **it would've been more faster with Puss!Tomas: **whimpers**Diana: i'll deal with you later.. ok... read the : *reads the card* ooh, this sounds good. some one has to push him off a cliff full of garbage, get come kind of man-eating tiger to chase him, then shave his : NOOOOOOOOOO! THAT'LL RUIN MY HAIR! : ok, bring in the tiger, : two tigers, : **being pushed **what's going on? Where's Master Shifu?Diana: you brought her? From Kung fu panda?Shrek: well, I couldn't find any man-eating tiger...Diana: what's the other?Diego: hey! let me go! **being pushed **where am i? wait until I find Sid…Diana: you bought a time machine and got him?Shrek: i can't find any man-eating tigers!Diana: someone, please, PLEASE get some real man-eating tigers!Lorena: so sorry, they are near the cliff, ok, you can get Raoul near the cliff. if that's : ok. get Raoul over : with pleasure. *grabs Raoul near the cliff* i'll...Diana: no, i'll push : =(Diana: ok. first give me a sword, my hands are too young to touch a filthy, disgusting, hair loving, creepy, son of a...Raoul: we get the point! =(Shrek: **gets a sword **this is the only sword i can : ok, now, Tomas! is the camera filming this?Tomas: yes!Diana: ok. **gets the sword, first cuts Raoul's hair**Raoul: no! my beautiful hair!Diana: **pushes him with the sword**Raoul: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! **girlish scream and hair was shaved** no! Diana: **looking down from the cliff** yikes...

**few hours later**

Diana: that was...Shrek: yikes...Puss in boots: **comes angry** SHREK!Shrek: uh oh..Puss in boots: where's my sword?Shrek: um... she stole it!Diana: no, he gave it to me!Puss in boots: **grabbed his sword and storms off, mumbling to himself**Diana: you stole his sword?Shrek: no, i actually 'borrowed' : whatever. ok, anyways, that's all for...crowd: Die, Raoul, Die!


	6. Buzz lightyear and his aliens

Diana: welcome bad to…

Buzz: Die Raoul Die!

Diana: and yes, that is Buzz lightyear, I watched yesterday, Toy story 3.

Tomas: it made me cry.

Diana: I know, it made me cry too.

Tomas: you are so emotional in movies, Diana.

Diana: two times, I've cried!

Tomas: you cried because Diego was leaving Ice age!

Diana: but then he came back!

Tomas: well you cried for him cause he said he was leaving the herd!

**Hours past by**

Buzz: are we going to continue the show, or what?

Diana: ok, ok, sorry. Anyways… you know the drill.

Lorena: uh huh. FREE HAIRGEL!1

Raoul: WHERE?

Erik: wow.

Diana: I know, he'll believe anything.

Raoul: where is it?

Diana: read the card, Buzzy.

Buzz: it's Buzz Lightyear…

Diana: of star command, I know. =P

Buzz: **reads card** get him into the spaceship full of aliens.

Lorena: got it covered. OMG! THE FREE HAIRGEL IS IN THE SPACESHIP FULL OF MAN-EATING

ALIENS!

Raoul: OMG! **runs into the spaceship** WHERE IS IT?

Aliens: grrr…

**16 hours later**

Raoul: **zapped by the laze beam**

Diana: it took 16 hours for that?

Buzz: yeah, sorry about that. Aliens are slow.

Diana: I can see that. Tomas…

Tomas; ok, I'll put Raoul in the recycling fop bin, cry baby.

Diana: DIEGO WAS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OK! I DIDN'T WANT HIM

TO LEAVE!

Tomas: YA YA YA! I HEARD EXCUSES LIKE THAT!

Buzz: I'm just going to leave…

Lorena: that's all for…

Everyone: Die Raoul Die!

Camille: um…

Lorena: get the bodyguards.

Erik: alright.

Diana: **about to kill Tomas**

**Tomas: !**

**Camille: HURRY!**


	7. let the monster rise

Tomas: welcome to..

Audience: DIE RAOUL DIE!

Diana: so sorry..

Tomas: we were gone to long..

Lorena: but we're back!

Camille: so sorry!

Raoul: what am I doing here?

Diana: we will introduce you to… NATHAN!

Camille: THE REPO MAN?

Random singers: RRRREEEEPPPOO MAAN!

Diana: uh oh…

Nathan: what would you guys like me to do?

Diana: read the card.

Nathan: **reads the card** interesting..

Diana: yeah?

Nathan: tie the fop up.

Diana: ok.

Hours later

Nathan: It took you that long to tie him up?

Diana: what? We couldn't find any rope!

Nathan: **pulls a knife out**

Raoul: NO! don't rip off my hair! You can rip out my organs.. NOT THE HAIR!

Nathan: **slices his neck, stabs him in the heart, trying to reach his heart, and…**

Diana: I can't look…**covers her eyes**

6 hours later.

Nathan: **pulls out a heart** ah ha! **squishes it**

Tomas: give my the organs so I can fix Raoul.

Diana: that was…

Camille: nasty…

Lorena: you hired him to kill Raoul?

Diana: yup.

Camille: I think he did more than just kill…

Erik: **runs in the room** what happened?

Diana: oh, your late for the killing of the fop.

Erik: oh…

Camille: too late, he's already dead…

Tomas: HE'S ALIVE!

Nathan: **smashes Raoul's heart**

Tomas: now he's dead… again…

Ginger bread man: **running around**

Camille: O.o

Diana: O.o

Tomas: O.o

Nathan: O.o

Erik: O.o

Audience: O.o

Nathan: I'm going to rip his cookie organs out! MUH HAHAHAHA! **chases the ginger bread man**

**Diana: well…**

**Tomas: that's all for…**

**Audience: die Raoul Die!**


End file.
